The Institute for Gravitronomic Inertiametrics

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The Institute’s Scienticians, c. 1903

Our Team of Experts

Founder
  • Magda Hesketh-Dorleac
Director Emeritus
  • Hammacher Hesketh-Dorleac
Director of Scienceonomy
  • Aldous Thistleton Lambshanks
Chief Technology Officer
  • Alina Swackhammer
Senior Gravitronomists
  • Dr. Prof. Spencer Howard
  • Dr. Prof. Sam Hunter
  • Dr. Prof. Claire Kaplan
  • Dr. Prof. Nathan Turner
Department of Humorology
  • Alcibiades Snout, chairperson
  • Sigrid Steiner-Sturtschturdt
  • Valentine Aguecheek
  • Dr. Timandra Faulconbridge
  • Leonine Oatcake
Center for Theoretical and Applied Geonomics
  • Dr. Jónar Sørensen, director of research
  • Dr. Victor Leal
  • Dr. Silvia Monmarques
  • Dr. Yvonne Cavalcanti
  • Dr. Sap Bnth
Department of Electromagnetic Biomestry
  • Dr. Edward Nedwin Wendward, director of research
  • Dr. Donna Blackstone
  • Dr. Johann Sebastian Bock
  • Dr. Yevgeny Wayne
  • Dr. Stig Catmull, III
Renata Del Vecchio Memorial Laboratory for Amphigenetic Research
  • Dr. Ovsanna Del Vecchio, counselor
  • Dr. Dixon d’Urby
  • Dr. Lamar Helmsley
  • Dr. Eleuterio Sinicropi
  • Prof. Percival Pimentel
Neuroimmunonologic Gene Expression Laboratory
  • Dr. Hep’ot’ Bashloevy, tribune
  • Dr. Giacopo Penzo
  • Dr. Hazel Nutt
  • Dr. Juan Bomb
  • Dr. Lariis Vetuu
Adjunct Scienticians
  • Prof. Oe Hatsuyo
  • Prof. Hiram Cowgill
  • Dr. Tabitha de Primo de Claro
  • Prof. Grażyna Chrabołowska
Central Works Council
  • Walburga Woop, chairperson
  • Heiko Fritsch
  • Rear Adm. Donald Söderström
  • Ebenezer Wellington-Bullock, Jr., OBE
  • Perdita Bottom
Novice Biometricists
  • Bim Poku
  • Hwa Jong Su
  • Vitruvia Smythe
  • Elmer Zamuda
  • Rocko Söüp
  • Harold Liebstraum
  • Jytte Ulriksdóttir
  • Bob Fionnghalaigh
Interns
  • Trench Coxe
  • Periss Drell
  • Áed MaoilSeachlainn
  • Harvey McGarvey
  • Aarti Haas
  • Veitor Aboullaite
  • Ali Kanchibhatta
Teaching Assistants
  • Gert Post
  • Dewey Bachmann
  • Lehman Gross-Bahn
  • Ellie Ott-Ness
  • Stephen Szeto-Sczesny
Journeyman Inertiametrcists
  • Dr. Lee Mann
  • Dr. Annabelle Clumber
  • Dante Snyder-Gershkovich
  • Tunde St. Germain-Palermo
Director of Communications
  • Marcus Thornwood
Stochastic Process Actuary
  • F. Wala-Engelbrecht Staudenmaier, ARM, CRM, CIC
Historian
  • Dr. Malcolm A. MacDougal
Staff Psychologist
  • H. H. Von Voltimand, Psy.D.
Judge Advocate General
  • Oona Okana
Judge Advocate Specific
  • Bhumibol Vongsawad, Esq.
Compliance and Corruption Prevention
  • Dr. Svenne Lengelenne
Ombudsperson
  • Belinda Dort-Hurlockerhonkson
Hazardous Goods Coordinator
  • Guntram Rupp
Empirical Aesthetician
  • Francesco Fritz-Franz Freeling
Director of Marketing
  • Adrian Wapcaplet
Headhunter
  • Garfield Gatz
Public Relations
  • Olly Ball
Private Relations
  • Rutland D’Oyly-Carte
Press Secretary
  • Stuart Hubert
Director of Morale
  • Becky Areola
de facto Scriba
  • Bebette Ionescu
Companion Extraordinary of the Privy Council
  • Masuyama Kimi
Herald
  • Todd Ustick Onderdonk
Censor
  • Jon le Deutsch
Sergeants-at-Arms
  • Lt. Col. Martin Dumont Vroom
  • Commodore Drey Bench, ret.
Keeper of the Halls
  • Cora H. Pendleton-Twain
Admiral of the Fleet
  • Sir Cloudesley Shovell
Coxswain
  • Archibald Bazalgette, M.D.
Equerry
  • Svante Nilsson Sture the Younger
Quartermaster
  • Conrad von Pyhy
Symposiarch
  • Fredericka de Lennox de Bethune
Leader of the Opposition
  • “Bill” Guillaume Wilhelm Uilleam Williams 
Lady Usher of the Orange Rod
  • Elizabeta Sonntag-Domingo
Prelate
  • Barnaby Barnabas
Aide-de-Camp
  • Juan Sebastian de Todos de los Santos de Encarnación
Justiciar
  • Räbit Möxämmätša
Magister Eqitum
  • Baron-Chaplain Siro Kadrievski Markovnikov
Whip
  • Benjamin Treadwell Astor, Sr., Esq. IV
Comptroller
  • Villy “T-Bone” Høj
Consulate Conservator
  • Ferdinand Alois Lodewijk-Maria Nguyen 
Grand Lever of Alchemy
  • Titus Cone
Adjutant Advocate
  • Sheldon Dibble, J.D.
Grammarian
  • Veronica Victoria de Waldorf-Astoria
Elocutionist
  • Stede Zeb
People’s Commissioner
  • Robert Saddington
Scutarius
  • Wolfram von Eschenbach
Staff Photographer
  • Mac Cream
Cartographer
  • Maddox Braxton-Hix
Bagman
  • Roger Manwood
Body Man
  • Henry Lescrope
Impresario
  • Pedro de Alcântara Francisco António João Carlos Xavier de Paula Miguel Rafael Joaquim José Gonzaga Pascoal Cipriano Serafim Smith
Prestidigitator
  • Simon Ebenezebub
Ingéneur
  • Krill Hammer
Tree Surgeon
  • Douglas Fir
Manager of Opposition Business
  • The Rt. Hon. Marvin Dingle
Catering
  • Feardomhnach Mac Giolla Chomhghai
Farrier
  • ᚠᚱᚬᚾᚴ ᛋᛘᛁᚦ
Seer
  • Grigori Rasputin, Jr.
Clerk of the Closet
  • Cyrus Piddlypinks
Geneticist
  • Cliff Accident
Fan-Bearer
  • Cuthbert Dimwitch
Painter and Limner
  • Percival Nimbleshanks
Best Boy
  • Pelle Saavedra
Worst Boy
  • Edgar Dork
Archzealot
  • Cleve Schott
Patroon
  • Paula Pinto
Mountaineer
  • Copernicus Birch
Bomb Disposal
  • Mick Donald Frentsch Frye
Permanent Terrirtorial Apostolic
  • Fifi Moon
Chaplains
  • The Reverend Sigismund von Herbinstein
  • The Very Reverend Girolamo Cardeño
  • The Most Reverent Eddie Large
Protosyncellus
  • Candy Banjo
Honorary Prince-Bishop
  • Whoopi Zealand
Envoy
  • Blanche Du Boise
Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary
  • Zip Beep
Mage
  • Clodomiro Bardolphus the Ever-Watchful
Chargé d’Affaires
  • Gunthard Bodobert
Premier Master of the Scullery and Larder
  • Graham McCrackers
Persuivant of Arms (Honorary)
  • Randy Pratt
Privy Purse
  • Ruby Laffoon
High Almoner
  • Humbert Candlewax
Apothecary
  • Dr. Zizi Utu, KCVO, MD, BM, BCh, DM, FRCP, Gmaj7(♭5)
Poet Laureate
  • Bogey Hallþórsdóttir
Seneschal
  • Chris Cheese
Pantler
  • Alastair Szymankowszczyzna
Majordomo
  • Rebecca Fonseca
Groom of the Stool
  • Paddy Pickerill-Wind
Grand Panetier
  • Tyne Knott
Falconer
  • Sqn. Ldr. Trixiebelle Furssendonn-Wood
Hostarius
  • Dust Redevivia, DD, LLD
Cup-Bearer
  • Thor Wrather
Spiritualist
  • Usapia Palladino
Illusionist
  • Romidgius Slade
Skeptic
  • Cindy-Dawne Dexter
General Counsel
  • Constance Steinkuehler, Esq.
Confessor
  • Peez Härmälä
Lord Warden of the Marches
  • Kitto Carne
Horticulturalist
  • Wynn DeWitt DeWalt
Brand Ambassador
  • Lord Lanolin Chestycoughs
Cutler
  • Birgit Thyssen-Bornemisza
Sandwich Artist
  • Harry Salad
Taste Tester
  • Qwerty McCoy
Official Portrait Artist
  • Harland Polycastro
Shepherd
  • Leslie Fishcake
Bootlegger
  • Tweep Thwaite
Barber
  • David Zest
Barber-Dentist
  • Burbengary Younghusband
Stationmaster
  • Richard Glue
First Officer of the Watch
  • Bat Masterson
Stage Manager
  • Samuel Hartopp-Knapp
Chief Engineer
  • Roderick Random
Carpenter
  • Al Sunshine
Consigliere
  • Monica Wombat
Head of Human Resources
  • Celso Manriquez Wrenn
Head of Janitorial
  • Geoff Schrempf, MFA, D.Sc., Ph.D., D.Litt

Board of Directors

Chairperson of the Board
  • Florence Hesketh-Dorleac
Board of Directors
  • Kapustina Nymphadora Anatolievna
  • Abdelkader Benmansour
  • Taline Dergevorkian
  • Prof. Laëtitia Charpentier de Bourbon-Conti
  • Dorothea Meat
  • Sir Bertram Fitzwater-Ashpole, 5th Baron Fitzwater-Ashpole
  • Reuben Henriques
  • Xu Huiqing
  • Kalikohemolele Kalawai’a
  • Isaïes Mocolau
  • Dr. Jónar Sørensen
  • Gomer Ray-Gus III
  • Armin Sutro, Jr.

The Gravitronomic Chamber Orchestra

Music Director
  • Rodney Rodman “Hod Rod” Rodwell
Concertmaster
  • Coleman P. Whittlewasher
Organist
  • Edgar Wheeze
First Chair Theremin
  • Siobhan Jokelsizer
Second Chair Theremin
  • Linus Ramanganoora
Contrabass Balalaika
  • Smolyaninova Chebutykin
Stylophone
  • Degory Crummey
Sarrusophone
  • Natanaël Gwenaël Jacquemoud
Saxarrusophone
  • L’ubica Hrjacová
Adaistophone
  • Mizmar Nadaswaram
Heckelphone
  • Tárogató de Caccia
Crumhorn
  • Zurna Hirtenschalmei 
Rackett
  • Pom Kortholt
Dulcian
  • Sopila Piffero
Rauschpfeife
  • Shawm Birbyne
Cimbalom
  • Nagy Noel
Crwth
  • Wmffre Islwyn Bloyd
Cannon
  • Fergus Garthnac
Washboard
  • Picasso Nuts
Glockenspiel
  • Benedikt Bischoffshausen-Zippe
Glass Armonica
  • Afra Hariri
Tromboon
  • Quag Polder
B-flat Qop
  • Clark Puckett
Baritone Saisoza
  • Roibertte MacIllianain
Tenor Saisoza
  • Burl Bub
Tandem Jun-Jun Drums
  • Theodoric Vercingetorix XIII
  • Leo Heaps
Bruck’s Auto-Lute
  • Bruck ter-Schegget
Piano Tuner
  • Crichton Buxton
Viola
  • Greg Elbow
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