3.2701 graviseconds (gs). Findings currently in peer review.
Hypothesis: What was the last place you had it? Have you tried looking there?
Evidence: Cats give off significant amounts of heat, yet require several hours of sunbathing each day.
Theory: Cats are cold-blooded.
Methodology: We start by identifying what the Universe is not, and narrow it down from there.*
* In progress.
Findings: Louder than a gnat’s sneeze, but not so loud as a Saturn V launching.
Kind of green.