For nearly a century, the Institute’s Department of Interpersonal Thermodynamics operated under a common axiom: that the awkward pause, while universally recognized, could not be meaningfully quantified. It was thought to be one of those phenomena that resisted instrumentation entirely (e.g. regret, or the exact moment a party ends). This assumption can now be safely […]

In a rare break for the Institute’s scientific method — “test first, ask questions later” — one particularly long-running study has been discovered to have a timeline stretching theoretically farther into the past than the concept of time can account for. For decades, Study #00734-C was considered “ongoing but non-urgent”: a longitudinal observation of controlled

The story of the Institute for Gravitronomic Inertiametrics begins humbly, with a father, a daughter, and a need for better ointments. In early spring of 1864, Rodolphe Hesketh-Dorleac and his daughter Magda arrived in St. Louis, Missouri, from Ghent, Belgium, having traversed the Atlantic with a single trunk, an armful of diplomas, and a small

The Institute for Gravitronomic Inertiametrics’ Department of Geolimbic Research today released provisional findings suggesting that the Earth’s axial tilt, long attributed to gravitational mechanics and primordial impact events, may, in fact, be a function of our home planet’s personal preference. These observations of the Earth’s inclination, both literal and figurative, have the potential to upend

Once the purview of science fiction — and indeed outright fantasy (cf. “Ballooning Craze” of the 18th century [Holmes 2009]) — the theory, principles, properties, and morality behind self-contained human-powered flight through the air have been discovered under the auspices of the Institute for Gravitronomic Inertiametrics. Dr. Annabelle Clumber, currently a journeyman inertiametricist in her

Over 30 years after the discovery of the relationship bees have with the earth’s magnetic field (Gould, Kirschvink, Deffeyes, 1978), leading researchers from the Institute’s Center for Theoretical and Applied Geonomics, partnered with the Institute’s Department of Electromagnetic Biomestry, have made a discovery of their own. Dr. Jónar Sørensen, official director of the joint study,