Our Team of Experts

The Institute's Scienticians, c. 1903

Founder

Madga Hesketh-Dorleac

Director Emeritus

Hammacher Hesketh-Dorleac

Director of Scienceonomy

Aldous Thistleton Lambshanks

Chief Technology Officer

Alina Swackhammer

Senior Gravitronomists

Dr. Prof. Spencer Howard
Dr. Prof. Sam Hunter
Dr. Prof. Claire Kaplan
Dr. Prof. Nathan Turner

Department of Humorology

Alcibiades Snout, chairperson
Sigrid Steiner-Sturtschturdt
Valentine Aguecheek
Dr. Timandra Faulconbridge
Leonine Oatcake

Center for Theoretical and Applied Geonomics

Dr. Jónar Sørensen, director of research
Dr. Victor Leal
Dr. Silvia Monmarques
Dr. Yvonne Cavalcanti
Dr. Sap Bnth

Department of Electromagnetic Biomestry

Dr. Edward Nedwin Wendward, director of research
Dr. Donna Blackstone
Dr. Johann Sebastian Bock
Dr. Yevgeny Wayne
Dr. Stig Catmull, III

Renata Del Vecchio Memorial Laboratory for Amphigenetic Research

Dr. Ovsanna Del Vecchio, counselor
Dr. Dixon d’Urby
Dr. Lamar Helmsley
Dr. Eleuterio Sinicropi
Prof. Percival Pimentel

Neuroimmunonologic Gene Expression Laboratory

Dr. Hep’ot’ Bashloevy, tribune
Dr. Giacopo Penzo
Dr. Hazel Nutt
Dr. Juan Bomb
Dr. Lariis Vetuu

Adjunct Scienticians

Prof. Oe Hatsuyo
Prof. Hiram Cowgill
Dr. Tabitha de Primo de Claro
Prof. Grażyna Chrabołowska

Central Works Council

Walburga Woop, chairperson
Heiko Fritsch
Rear Adm. Donald Söderström
Ebenezer Wellington-Bullock, Jr., OBE
Perdita Bottom

Novice Biometricists

Bim Poku
Hwa Jong Su
Vitruvia Smythe
Elmer Zamuda
Rocko Söüp
Harold Liebstraum
Jytte Ulriksdóttir
Bob Fionnghalaigh

Journeyman Inertiametrcists

Dr. Lee Mann
Dr. Annabelle Clumber
Dante Snyder-Gershkovich
Tunde St. Germain-Palermo

Teaching Assistants

Gert Post
Dewey Bachmann
Lehman Gross-Bahn
Ellie Ott-Ness
Stephen Szeto-Sczesny 

Interns

Trench Coxe
Periss Drell
Áed MaoilSeachlainn 
Harvey McGarvey
Aarti Haas
Veitor Aboullaite
Ali Kanchibhatta

Director of Communications

Marcus Thornwood

Stochastic Process Actuary

F. Wala-Engelbrecht Staudenmaier, ARM, CRM, CIC

Historian

Dr. Malcolm A. MacDougal

Staff Psychologist

H. H. Von Voltimand, Psy.D.

Judge Advocate General

Oona Okana

Judge Advocate Specific

Bhumibol Vongsawad, Esq.

Compliance and Corruption Prevention

Dr. Svenne Lengelenne

Ombudsperson

Belinda Dort-Hurlockerhonkson

Hazardous Goods COORDINATOR

Guntram Rupp

Empirical Aesthetician

Francesco Fritz-Franz Freeling

Director of Marketing

Adrian Wapcaplet

Headhunter

Garfield Gatz

Public Relations

Olly Ball

Private Relations

Rutland D’Oyly-Carte

Press Secretary

Stuart Hubert

Director of Morale

Becky Areola

de facto Scriba

Babette Ionescu

Companion Extraordinary of the Privy Council

Masuyama Kimi

Herald

Todd Ustick Onderdonk

Censor

Jon le Deutsch

SergeantS-at-Arms

Lt. Col. Martin Dumont Vroom
Commodore Drey Bench, ret.

Keeper of the Halls

Cora H. Pendleton-Twain

Admiral of the Fleet

Sir Cloudesley Shovell

Coxswain

Archibald Bazalgette, M.D.

Equerry

Svante Nilsson Sture the Younger

Quartermaster

Conrad von Pyhy

Symposiarch

Fredericka de Lennox de Bethune

Leader of the Opposition

“Bill” Guillaume Wilhelm Uilleam Williams

Lady Usher of the Orange Rod

Elizabetta Sonntag-Domingo

Prelate

Barnaby Barnabas

Aide-de-Camp

Juan Sebastian de Todos de los Santos de Encarnación

Justiciar

Räbit Möxämmätša

Magister Equitum

Baron-Chaplain Spiro Kadrievski Markovnikov

Whip

Benjamin Treadwell Astor, Sr., Esq. IV

Comptroller

Villy “T-Bone” Høj

Consulate Conservator

Ferdinand Alois Lodewijk-Maria Nguyen

Grand Lever of Alchemy

Titus Cone

Adjutant Advocate

Sheldon Dibble

Concertmaster

Veronica Victoria de Waldorf-Astoria

Tree Surgeon

Douglas Fir

People’s Commissioner

Robert Saddington

Scutarius

Wolfram von Eschenbach

Staff Photographer

Mac Cream

Cartographer

Maddox Braxton-Hix

Bagman

Roger Manwood

Body Man

Henry Lescrope

Impresario 

Pedro de Alcântara Francisco António João Carlos Xavier de Paula Miguel Rafael Joaquim José Gonzaga Pascoal Cipriano Serafim Smith

Prestidigitator

Simon Ebenezebub

Ingénieur

Krill Hammer

Elocutionist

Stede Zeb

Manager of Opposition Business

The Rt. Hon. Marvin Dingle

Catering

Feardomhnach Mac Giolla Chomhghaill

Farrier

ᚠᚱᚬᚾᚴ ᛋᛘᛁᚦ

Seer

Grigori Rasputin, Jr.

Clerk of the Closet

Cyrus Piddlypinks

Organist

Edgar Wheeze

Fan-bearer

Cuthbert Dimwitch

Painter and Limner

Percival Nimbleshanks

Best Boy

Pelle Saavedra

Worst Boy

Edgar Dork

Archzealot

Cleve Shotbolt

Patroon

Paula Pinto

Mountaineer

Copernicus Birch

Bomb Disposal

Mick Donald Frentsch Fryez

Permanent Territorial Apostolic

Fifi Moon

ChaplainS

The Reverend Sigismund Von Herbinstein
The Very Reverend Girolamo Cardeño
The Most Reverend Eddie Large

Protosyncellus

Candy Banjo

Honorary Prince-Bishop

Whoopi Zealand

Envoy

Blanche Du Boise

Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary

Zip Beep

Mage

Clodomiro Bardolphus the Ever-Watchful

Chargé d’Affaires

Gunthard Bodobert

Premier Master of the Scullery and Larder

Graham McCrackers

Persuivant of Arms (honorary)

Randy Pratt

Privy Purse

John Dragfoot

High Almoner

Humbert Candlewax

Surgeon-Apothecary

Dr. Zizi Utu, KCVO, MD, BM, BCh, DM, FRCP

Poet Laureate

Bogey Hallþórsdóttir

Seneschal

Chris Cheese

Pantler

Alastair Szymankowszczyzna

Majordomo

Rebecca Fonseca

Groom of the Stool

Paddy Pickerill-Wind

Grand Panetier

Tyne Knott

Falconer

Sqn. Ldr. Trixiebelle Furssendonn-Wood

Hostarius

Dust Redivivia, KCVO, DD, LLD

Cup-Bearer

Thor Wrather

Spiritualist

Usapia Palladino

Illusionist

Romidgius Slade

Skeptic

Cindy-Dawne Dexter

General Counsel

Constance Steinkuehler

Provost

Corky Blinth

Staff Physician

Dr. Zorders

Master of Ceremonies

Greg Elbow

Master of Disguise

Parmigiana Olson

Speechwriter

Steve Squeeze

Jokewriter

Hugh Braughter

Confessor

Peez Härmälä

Lord Warden of the Marches

Kitto Carne

Horticulturalist

Wynn DeWitt DeWalt

Brand Ambassador

Lord Lanolin Chestycoughs

Cutler

Birgit Thyssen-Bornemisza

PIano tuner

Crichton Buxton

Human Resources

Celso Manriquez Wrenn

Head of Janitorial

Geoff Schrempf, MFA, D.Sc., Ph.D., D.Litt.

Board of Directors

Chairperson of the Board

Florence Hesketh-Dorleac

Board of Directors

Kapustina Nymphadora Anatolievna
Abdelkader Benmansour
Taline Dergevorkian
Prof. Laëtitia Charpentier de Bourbon-Conti
Dorothea Figgins
Sir Bertram Fitzwater-Ashpole, 5^th Baron Fitzwater-Ashpole
Reuben Henriques
Xu Huiqing
Kalikohemolele Kalawai’a
Isaïes Micolau
Dr. Jónar Sørensen
Gomer Ray-Gus III
Armin Sutro, Jr.

The Gravitronomic Chamber Orchestra

Music Director

Rodney Rodman “The Shaft” Rodwell

First Chair Theremin

Siobhan Jokelsizer

Second Chair Theremin

Linus Ramanganoora

Contrabass Balalaika

Smolyaninova Chebutykin

Stylophone

Degory Crummey

Sarussophone

Natanaël Gwenaël Jacquemoud

Adaistophone

L’ubica Hrljacová

Cimbalom

Nagy Noel

Clwth

Wmffre Islwyn Bloyd

Cannon

Fergus Garthnac

Viola

L’ubica Hrljacová

Glockenspiel

Benedikt Bischoffshausen-Zippe

Glass Armonica

Afra Hariri

Clail

Quag Polder

B-flat Qop

Cark Puckett

Baritone Saisoza

Roibertte MacIllIanain

Glaineagle Trumpet

Burl Bub

Tandem Jun-Jun Drums

Theodoric Vercingetorix XIII
Leo Heaps

Bruck’s Auto-Lute

Bruck ter-Schegget